I´ve really appreciated some of the comments that Josh and I have been receiving. This has been a terrific adventure for both of us, and I´m happy that many of you have enjoyed reading along with some of the harrowing, exciting, uplifting, and mindblowing things we´ve experienced. "Epic" is one of the words we´ve tossed around a lot this trip, whether it be epic amounts of pictures taken by my camera, epic amounts of steak, cheese, or stars, or epic nights that have not ended until 8 am. If you´ll allow me, let me share another epic experience that may be a bit different from the normal glitz and glamor.
La Serena, Chile - 4:30 pm - Hour 0
We are getting on bus 2 hours earlier than we thought. Josh is a little displeased, as he had to give up his "Clase Premium" seat which is actually a full bed on a bus. We´ve exchanged a few harsh words about the subject, but the change of plans will allow us to get in to Salta, Argentina in time to stay on schedule. Otherwise, there is a risk that I will be forced to spend about 5 days in a sunny, mountainside Argentine town eating nothing but steak as opposed to the planned 3. Alright, there could be worse fates, but still, I want to get to Peru eventually.
Josh, a little bit smarmy.
This trip should take about 30 hours.
Our seats are the "Coche Cama" class, which is a decent compromise really. Think lay-z-boys, except on a bus. We´re given a snack - cookie and peach juice - and after quickly consuming it, I fall asleep.
5:00 pm - Hour .5
Woken up by Josh so that I can see the coast. Pretty amazing. The movie Transporter is on, so I watch that. It sucks.
6:30 pm - Hour 2
A new movie comes on, something about an illegal immigrant and her son who is still in Mexico and...I unplug my headphones. I´d rather leave then deal with this sanctimonious, anti-U.S. crap. While taking out my book, Josh admonishes me for unplugging. "This is a good way to learn Spanish." I plug them back in begrudgingly and keep watching, munching on my "Toque de Oregano" Lay´s potato chips. They´re delicious.
8:30 pm - Hour 4
Under the Same Moon is over. Josh and I are both teary eyed. The teenage guy sitting next to us looks over and says, "That was a pretty good movie, huh?" It really was.
We get more snacks. This time I get a pineapple juice, fruit cocktail, an oatmeal cookie, and peanuts. The peanuts are too hard to open. The fruit cocktail syrup spills all over me. I trade Josh the pineapple for another peach. This ends up being an error.
9:00 pm - Hour 4.5
Another movie is put on, with the girl from Wedding Crashers and that guy who played Scarecrow in Batman Begins. It´s truly terrible. Josh and I guess it´s either about international terrorists or psycho serial murderers, but it turns out that it´s foolish of us to think these are mutually exclusive. I unplug my headphones. Josh admonishes me. "I would enjoy this movie much more if you would watch this with me." I give it five more minutes, then switch to reading Fareed Zakaria´s Post-American World. A good choice. Did you know that America´s Secret Weapon is its tradition of immigration? I already did, and I feel smug.
11:00 pm - Hour 6.5
Great! Wedding Crashers is on!
12:30 am - Hour 8
Damn! All the TVs just stopped for no reason, and during a movie I actually wanted to watch. Time for bed I suppose.
Hour 3:30 am - Hour 11
I am covered in a mountain of crap, including books, my shoes, a backpack, headphones, my Lay´s chips, and a clementine. No wonder I can´t get to sleep! I replace all of that with a blanket, and the change in comfort is instantaneous!
Antofagasta, Chile - Hour 4:30 am - Hour 12
We have arrived at our transfer point. We can tell that we´re near the ocean, and that´s about it. The bus terminal we arrive at is brand new, and while there are signs to restaurants and news stands, it is clear that these are still under construction. The scene is desolate, and while it may have a harmless sterility to it during the day, at night this place appears to be a creepy wasteland. The only sign of life (our fellows who are waiting cannot be considered lifelike) is a soundtrack of 1950s tunes coming from unseen speakers. We both agree that this is reminiscent of Fallout 3.
5:00 am - Hour 12.5
I floss and brush my teeth. Best decision I´ve made all night.
6:00 am - Hour 13.5
Our bus to Salta arrives. The seats we´ve booked are a significant downgrade. Only one of us can put our elbow on the armrest at once, and the seats only lean back half the distance of the last ones. Still, this is a big improvement from the Antofagasta bus station. I drink my third peach juice and pass out.
7:30 am - Hour 15
I wake up briefly. Out the window a vast desert is flying by. I can´t keep my eyes open.
9:30 am - Hour 17
Alright, now I´m up. Uh oh, I think I´ve accidentally wet myself! It turns out to be my imagination (thank god!) but it´s worth a trip to the bathroom anyway.
Holy cow, this guy to our left is snoring so loudly. He is basically expelling air out of his stomach or something that is reverberating through some seriously unhealthy sinuses and finally exiting past his moustache. Josh (who woke up because I had to crawl over him to get to the bathroom) comments that if he were to go to the bathroom in his seat while sleeping, we probably would not know the difference. I´m almost certain that is correct.
Some llamas I saw out the window.
10:30 am - Hour 18
We are in the middle of the desert, and apparently we have to go through Chilean customs to leave the country. It´s still freezing!
Not a hot desert.
Josh has spilled fruit cocktail syrup on his seat. All over the seat. We are both so tired that we look at it for a while. Finally, I mop it up with a blanket.
11:30 am - Hour 19
Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia comes on. I prefer to look outside at the ridiculous landscape we are in. It´s unclear to me whether we´re in Chile or Argentina right now, as we haven´t gone through Argentina customs yet. Anyway, we are flying by a high desert with occasional lagoons with birds and camelids. I look over at Josh, who is putting clementine peels into a bag with books in it! What the heck! I take my book at and look at him funny. He doesn´t say anything.
Three minutes later he explains that he just went through a brief, momentary period of severe sickness. He was eating and drinking as fast as he could because that´s all he could think to do. Apparently he has some kind of altitude sickness. I go through the Chile Lonely Planet book to see what it says. The only cure is to go back down again. We have been on a vast, Altiplano plane for a while and it doesn´t look like that will happen anytime soon. He closes his eyes and tries to feel better. Poor Josh.
I look outside again and see a Vicuña sipping in one of the lagoons. Josh is too sick to wake him up, but it´s really, really cool.
Some high altitude lagoons.1:00 pm - Hour 20.5
The snoring is still going. It´s become part of our lives. I ask Josh if it makes him feel better or worse. He says worse.
1:30 pm - Hour 21
Finally we have reached Argentine customs. Apparently that last 3 hour stretch was no man´s land. More standing outside in the cold desert. Some llamas walk across the road while we´re waiting. What a place.
2:30 pm - Hour 22
Back on the bus, a movie called What Happens in Vegas is on with Ashton Kutcher. "I sentence you to 6 months hard marriage!" Man that sucks.
What was on.
Outside, on the other hand, there were salt flats.
3:30 pm - Hour 23
Finally. We have started our descent.
4:00 pm - Hour 23.5
Braveheart en español. Torture.
6:30 pm - Hour 26
Oh no, they wouldn´t dare..."Li-ber-tad!!!"
At least we get another snack. Peach juice number 4.
8:30 pm - Hour 28
We have arrived in Salta. My diet has been cookies, chips, clementines, and juice. I am sick to my stomach and hungry. I really need a shower, and my clothes are rotting off of me. My head aches from the altitude changes. The man to our left has snored (only stopping for customs) for the last 14 and a half hours. He is awake now, and is smacking his chops contentedly. Josh is basically incoherent with fatigue.
Epilogue:
After finally finding a hostel with a room, Josh and I both had a reasonable dinner of steak and fries and went to bed at 11 pm. Josh told me the next morning that the other people in our room came in around 11:30 pm and said "looks like we have a couple of grandmas."
6 comments:
What a journey. Next time pack a lunch and bring ear plugs. Good you can call that trip over.
Dad
This man would have destroyed earplugs.
No doubt torture for you both, but an entertaining read for the rest of us :)
Chips, oranges, fruit cocktail sauce on your lap...sounds familiar. Now I remember-a full KFC dinner, complete with cole slaw flying into your seat while in the car. It's a good thing you went through some early conditioning so that you could overlook the hash in your lap and enjoy the wild view out the window. Poor Josh, altitude sickness is no fun, especially accompanied by sound effects. Enjoyed your pics.
Ok, vicuna-had to look that one up. "One of two wild South American camelids that live in the alpine areas of the Andes." So, perhaps the alternate camelid you saw was a guanaco? Thanks for the Wild Kingdom lesson.
Josh, a little bit smarmy....it's been days and I'm still laughing about that caption
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